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About Deviant Member Chihaya0406Female/Japan Groups :iconotakuuniversity: OtakuUniversity
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Thanks for all the advices and kind comments in my last journal. I really appreciate all of them and I cried reading them. It made me felt stronger so everytime I felt depressed i read them and I felt like trying harder after that.

Not for long though. I don't know what went wrong. I tried and tried but everything just seemed to be falling apart. Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough but how much harder? I just can't take it anymore. Can I give up now? Why am I even here alone in Japan? I should have just gone back to my country. Who am I kidding? I am always a failure and useless. I just don't know anymore.

It seems all of my motivation or positiveness has gone.
I sometimes said to my self that I don't deserve to be happy. I don't even deserve to like some one. I deserve to be alone.  
Even when I started to develop a crush on someone, I tried my best to remind myself that I don't deserve to have that feeling. Then I'll just pretend that crush never happens.

I never find my self attractive. I think I'm a boring person. I'm not that smart. I'm not a slim person. I look awful when I smile. I often make silly mistakes. I sometimes wear a big sweater and a pair of jeans when girls around me wear skirts and cute outfits. I almost never wear make up when I go to work. I listen to music 24 hours. I usually reply in short sentences . and all other bad things. I'm bad at communicating with people. I literally don't have a friend atm. My family is the only treasure I have.

So I always think that when that person is liked by someone like me, he wouldn't be happy and even feel a bit insulted. 

It's just my problem about self esteem and confidence I guess. Sorry I just need to let this out and the Internet is my only source atm. 
god, the most difficult question.onion sad 

there are so many.......so,so many.Depressed can't decide for one only~ it changes everytime~ like yesterday I like a character named Sakaki Yuuto from a manga called Usotsuki Boyfriend, today, I'm fangirling so hard on Shuu from Diabolik loversPsyco 
i have at least three fav characters in one animeOnion Boy 6 for example, Free! you could say that I love almost all of the male charactersShy Haru-chan~~Mako-chan~~I wish anime characters were real. Muaha 



how about you guys?? are you able to answer this question easily?:bademoticon: 

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thumbelin0811
Chihaya0406
Japan
Doing this for fun and interest
Self-taught and still improving
No harms intended

tumblr: thumbelina0406.tumblr.com/
instagram: liyana2402
Interests
Thanks for all the advices and kind comments in my last journal. I really appreciate all of them and I cried reading them. It made me felt stronger so everytime I felt depressed i read them and I felt like trying harder after that.

Not for long though. I don't know what went wrong. I tried and tried but everything just seemed to be falling apart. Maybe I wasn't trying hard enough but how much harder? I just can't take it anymore. Can I give up now? Why am I even here alone in Japan? I should have just gone back to my country. Who am I kidding? I am always a failure and useless. I just don't know anymore.

It seems all of my motivation or positiveness has gone.

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:iconoreii:
oreii Featured By Owner 1 day ago
your art is lovely!! <3
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:iconflamekey8016:
FlameKey8016 Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New member Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love your art !!! XD it's really beautiful :) I'm so glad I found your art, you inspire me to try harder :)
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:iconmagicalnuko:
MagicalNuko Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
q//////////////q So georgous ! 
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:iconm-chanchan:
M-ChanChan Featured By Owner Edited 3 days ago  New member Hobbyist
You are so talented. Your art is beautiful. You inspire so many. Give us a genuine smile and look at the good things life has given you. ( T_T)\(^-^ )
Reply
:iconyuukie-ruiizu1990:
Yuukie-Ruiizu1990 Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hello I just wanted to say that your Art work is the most Beautiful and realistic that I've ever seen. Such Beauty and Elegant it's just really amazing. :D
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:iconblackbutler123x:
blackbutler123x Featured By Owner 4 days ago  New member Student Digital Artist
BRO ARMY!!!!!!!!! *high fives*
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:iconcenerinere:
cenerinere Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
I really love your style! *^*
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:iconanoterarts:
AnoterArts Featured By Owner 4 days ago  New member Student General Artist
Your art style is simply gorgeous! :happybounce:  Its so beautiful~

I hope you don't mind me watching you~ Seto Kousuke (Being shy and kawaii) [10] 
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:icondc-isu-23:
Dc-isu-23 Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Your works are... truly stunning... must... WATCH!
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:iconcacedral:
CaCedral Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Your art is amazing how did u get so FANTABULOUS?
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